Happy New Year

Today is New Years and time for resolutions that most of us won't keep. So I suppose it might be silly but my resolution is to keep my resolutions. I guess that since this is my first blog post I should start it with a bit of background about myself and why I am choosing to do this. I am a mom of five fantastic kiddos and full time college student. You may call me Niki. When I was younger, slimmer, and invincible; weight was never a problem for me. I didn't have to workout, could eat as much delicious guilt food as wanted and generally didn't care about overall health. In life we tend to have ah-ha moments, where something has affected us to the point we can no longer look at the world we live in the same. In my case (I'm thick headed) the idiot stick has struck more than once. Sometimes we all need reminding of where we are going in life. The first came when after my third daughter I developed a thyroid condition and went from my normally slender 125lbs to 200lbs in what seemed overnight. I developed depression and really struggled to understand how this happened. While I really tried to diet and lose weight, nothing really seemed to stick. (I did have two more children that helped things along). Up until this point, weight loss and working out were about looking good and nothing to do with physical wellness. That didn't come until 2011. Upon the birth of my adorable, last and fifth baby, I suffered a huge medical crisis. Three weeks after my new baby was born I was admitted to the hospital for five pulmonary embolisms. (blood clots in my lungs). I was started on blood thinners right away. As I battled for my life, I had a great deal of time to think about taking my life for granted and I wanted that to change. I remember feeling like Rocky, ready to fight and get going. I had to realize a hard lesson that change doesn't happen in an instance but by steady progress. The first time out of the hospital bed with the occupational therapist, with the goal of walking down the hallway and back. I made it to the next door while almost passing out. Over the next three months, I worked very hard at just regaining the strength to take care of my kids and home. Once I had gotten that down, I started classes at the local swimming pool doing water aerobics. I felt embarrassed to be treading water with old ladies. But I knew I was headed somewhere. I joined the gym and started just walking on the treadmill 10 mins a day. I would get light headed and threw up a time or two but I knew I could do this. I had been given a second chance and I wasn't going to waste it. During this time, I went to the doctor to get my thyroid condition stable, found out I had polycystic ovarian syndrome (which makes you gain weight right on your belly. Sweet!), metabolic syndrome (score!) and a rare genetic condition called Ehlers Danlos (which makes your muscles get weaker over time). (I will post more information on these conditions later.) Well, I sure have the deck stacked against me but one thing that I have learned to that we have to keep going and never give up. The one thing that always held me back was my eating habits. I love food, I could drizzle chocolate syrup down my face and smother myself in it (okay that sounds wrong...). I am addicted to sugar, I love it and it loves me, so much it likes to hang around in fat rolls on my waist. (ultra sexy!). So, while some people think the number 13 is unlucky, to me I know it is going to be a great year because I am going to have to courage to change. To stop letting fear of failure be in my way. To stop saying I can't but I will Because that is the future I want for myself. So to start things off I am going to post the unthinkable, a picture of me in a swimming suit (cringe) and my measurements for all of you (double cringe), so you can see my progress on this journey. So my resolution is to eat healthy, get strong and learn to love myself. Love ya all! Be bold and be COURAGEOUS! My stats right now 5'8 184lbs waist 43 hips 42 I can't believe I am sending these photos into cyberspace....